...Interviewing KF

Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

Interviews with my friends and family (with answers pulled from Facebook)

Friday, Aug 19th Kristin Farrell

Me: Kristin, thanks for joining us, especially with only a week and a half left in the city.

KF: Slam your body down a zigazig ahhh

Me: Our readers, of course know you for your activism.

KF: "If you don't like Gay marriage blame straight people, they the ones having Gay babies"

Me: So powerful. So why are you leaving New York?

KF: My new dentist is hot. I feel awkward ...

Me: Sure. Yeah. You've lived here for about 10 years. Do you think you'll miss New York?

KF: I miss the Mediterranean I want to go back!

Me: I'm sure you will. You also just went through a whirlwind marriage then divorce. What were the papers calling the split?

KF: Mt. Vesuvius.

Me: Ouch. Why did it end?

KF: If you still can't spell my name right after raising your child for 8 months I officially don't like you. Just saying

Me: I'd say that's a damn good reason. What lesson did you learn from this relationship that you'll take into your next one?

KF: If you wanna be my lova You gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever. Friendship never ends!

Me: Well put. Well, your movers are here. Any last words for the Big Apple?

KF: Dear tourists...
Friends was filmed in LA, Lennon was not shot IN strawberry fields and the exhibit at the met is ALEXANDER McQueen not Steve! Geez its 6:45 please stop talking!
Love, Farrell

Me: Thanks for that. Good luck with your move, Kristin!!!

And thank you, dear readers, for checking out this final edition of Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

...Interviewing CC

Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

Interviews with my friends and family (with answers pulled from Facebook)

Thursday, Aug 18th my cousin, Chris Clabuesh

Me: Chris, thanks for joining me today.

CC: I feel real nice!

Me: That's great! Me, too! So, how's life in Chicago?

CC: I got a cheesedumper in burgerville!

Me: So much meat in Chicago. Sounds like heaven. So how are the ladies in Chicago?

CC: boom boom

Me: That good, huh? I hear you're smooth with the ladies. What's your best pick up line?

CC: I'm ready to retire here.

Me: Nice. Direct, bold, shows commitment...

CC: Pure

Me: What's another one?

CC: Home is wherever I'm with you

Me: Solid! Give me a third.

CC: this heat makes me feel like Florida Gator kid, Is this real life?

Me: Close...you might want to workshop that one. Oh! You mean David after the Dentist! That youtube video of the drugged up kid. Ok, yeah, that's pretty good. The wording's just off.

CC: Hot Dog Cart

Me: Oh, you say that and point to your pants? I dunno...

CC: I'm ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.

Me: That sounds like you're insulting her and... em not your best...

CC: I'm not just saying possum ass is delicious, it is, I'm saying I'm true to my instincts.

Me: That's another one, huh? Ok, just me... I'd stick to the retirement one, the home one...So, I forget, what's your job in Chi-town?

CC: it's a sweet deal

Me: Oh, you're pointing at your pants again. God, is that another pick up line? Let's move on.

CC: throat steppin

Me: Gross, Chris!

CC: an hour ago a fireball consumed my face, which is far preferable to spending one second with you.

Me: Fine, ok. We'll just do this. You get 3 more lines.

CC: fish whistle

Me: Yep.

CC: anyone getting the fight tonight or going somewhere to watch it?

Me: Uh huh.

CC: hold my stones

Me: Great! Well, we're out of space and time, but thank you, Chris, for this insightful interview. I'm sure you'll be a huge hit in Burgerville.

Check in tomorrow for your final dose of Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

With 1 more interview...who knows? The next celebrity might be YOU!

...Interviewing JE

Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

Interviews with my friends and family (with answers pulled from Facebook)

Wedsday, Aug 17th  Jane Elliot

Me: Hey, Jane! Thanks for joining me.

JE: So so tired. Nearly just brushed my teeth with clearasil.

Me: Yikes, I'm sorry to hear that. Well then double thanks for being here. Why so tired?

JE: greek yogurt fail. Made my life more complicated, didn't solve all my problems.

Me: What kind of complications did Greek yogurt cause you?

JE: aaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh harry potter aaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Me: Woah! Greek yogurt turned you into Harry Potter!?! That is complicated and kind of exciting, right?

HP: I've always wanted to use that spell!

Me: Performing spells is a definite upside, but if you're Harry Potter, your parents must be...deceased.

HP: Sad the fammy is gone but had a great great time! Lake was great... performing for my crew was great, and seeing Jerusalem was great, too!! Now all I need is some sleep...

Me: I've always heard that Harry Potter was a Christ figure. Makes sense that you went to Jerusalem...and now you're on a bus tour through the United States.

HP: Definitely not a huge fan of Scranton after the last few days. (I think that the locals with whom I interacted this time were unusually frustrating - def more than those I have met on previous trips...) BUT I will say one thing: this is just an astoundingly beautiful part of the country. Green trees green hills green!!

Me: What else have you seen on your tour?

HP: Boo, boo, boo, boo!

Me: Tired of questions?

HP: has had juuuuust about enough of buses.

Me: Don't you have a snazzy coach get up?

HP: Greyhound thoroughly sucks as usual.

Me: Oh, wow, no wonder you're tired.

HP: could really do with a milkshake right about now.

Me: Yeah, we'll send someone out to get one.

HP: things it's funny to see a girl in a jamba juice apron drinking a mcdonalds smoothie.

Me: We'll set that up for you too, Har. Anything to make you smile.

HP: The Hudson River is sparkling.

Me: For me? That's awfully sweet. See, being Harry Potter has it's perks.

HP: Buh exhaustion/stress-induced cold buh.

Me: Fair enough. Well, thanks for the interview Harry/Jane! Good luck with the (CENSORED FOR SPOILER CONTENT)!

Check in tomorrow for another dose of Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

With 2 more interviews to come who knows! The next celebrity might be YOU!

...Interviewing JH

Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

Interviews with my friends and family (with answers pulled from Facebook)

Tuesday, Aug 16th  Jonathan "Jon" Heffley

Me: Jon, thanks for granting me this interview. I know you're really busy these days.

JH: August is going to be one cluster fuck of a mess.

Me: Wow. What kind of stuff do you have going on?

JH: I am sooo psyched about this stunt class. :-)

Me: A stunt class, that sounds dangerous.

JH: This was called a suicide fall where you jump off and kick your feet out. This was from 3 stories above the air mat... "Falling!"

Me: Oh, please get down off that table. I really don't think you should do that in a restaurant.

JH: Feeling antisocial.

Me: Ok...um you said you had a lot going on this August. What else?

JH: My mustache hair is starting to curl up into my nostrils. I'll keep you all updated.

Me: Ok.

JH: Hiccuping incessantly.

Me: Huh...

JH: I saw a huge cockroach carrying a rat on his back into a hospital. I could learn a lot from him!

Me: Those things could keep you busy...I guess.

JH: My MacBook Air is here! I'm going to look sooo productive!! AND PRETENTIOUS!!

Me: You love computers. You actually work with computers, right?

JH: Ethical Hacking Bootcamp begins today!

Me: Ethical Hacking Bootcamp...is that through work?

JH: "home"

Me: Ok....you know I think we'll leave that...just in case the FBI is reading.

JH: Why did TSA take my toothpaste away?

Me: Right, you just went to Ohio. Maybe they heard about your hacking class?

JH: Do you think I'm white?

Me: Um yes?

JH: Excuse me. Do you think I LOOK white?

Me: I do... Oh, is that what you said when they took your toothpaste away??? I think they just do that to everyone. They took my 92 year old Grandma's toothpaste when she flew to Virginia.

JH: What the Fuck Dept.?

Me: Yeah, file it under WTF! Why would they ever think someone could cause damage with toothpaste?

JH: There is a yelling in my head.

Me: That might be why. Well, Jon, we're going to have to wrap this up.

JH: "'Men will always think rationally and act irrationally.' Someone tell people I said that smart thing when I'm dead!!!"

Me: We will, but that'll be a long time from now, Jon, right?

JH: Thanks, God. For everything.

Me: I think you've gone to a dark place, Jon. What's something that makes you happy?

JH: I would like to have bubblegum ice cream. (Yes, it exists.)

Me: Great. My treat!

Thanks again for reading Molly's Facebook Celebrities!
Check back tomorrow for another interview. Who knows...the next celebrity might be you!

...Interviewing JT

Molly's Facebook Celebrities!

Interviews with my friends and family (with answers pulled from Facebook)

Monday, Aug 15th  Jonathan "Jon" Thomas

Me: You recently bought a house in Michigan. How do you like it?

JT: Anyone know the going rate for a Bikram yoga class??? First class starts at 8 pm....up-stairs at my house currently about 110 and 100% humidity (guest instructors welcome)

Me: Yikes, sounds hot. You're close to a park thought, right? That must be good for the dog.

JT: Soccer practice = hot moms at the park....Ernie gets an extra long walk today.Pulled the classic dog park move tonight....pick up 'phone call' at first sign of squat. Good thing too...Ernie was in Frosty mode (original, not wild berry thankfully)

Me: Kind of a weird segue, but do you like Frosty's?

JT: Strawberry milk may be the most underrated beverage.

Me: I guess it is often overlooked. So, anything else of interest in the neighborhood?

JT: Really glad I don't currently attend a B'Ham Middle/High School because I would look like a complete d-bag in skinny jeans.

Me: Yeah, you're all grown up now, owning a house, retirement accounts...

JT: No better way to wake up on a Sunday than from an online bankin alert....yep credit card number stolen....cool.

Me: Ouch. Did you get the alert on your phone?

JT: Things my cell phone current can't do: take pictures, text, or make outgoing calls....cool.

Me: Geez, a stolen card, a broken phone... just you and this leftover Chinese food.

JT: So what does it mean when you crack a fortune cookie and its empty? Probably should stay inside tonight.

Me: Heard there's a game on.

JT: Washington Nationals...you spent 126 mil on an outfielder this off-season and you are throwing Livan Hernandez on opening day? Nice staff.

Me: Sure, the Nationals. The Tigers are your team, though, right?

JT: Picking up some Cheesy G's to ease the pain of that loss

Me: Any thoughts on other sports?

JT: Message to any and all who feel the need to put a 13.1 or 26.2 oval sticker on their SUV....no one cares how far you ran that one time......really, no one, except you. So keep it to yourself.
To the dude sporting the skin-tight LIVESTRONG shirt while riding a tandem....do me a favor and hop on the co-pilot seat because you aren't fooling anyone....we all know who runs that relationship.

Me: Hey, just because he's riding a tandem doesn't mean he's a wimp.

JT: so you are trying to tell me Bobby Hurley isn't soft? Right....that's why he is a spokesman for Dove+Men...aaaaaaaaaaah boy.

Me: Oh, I don't know. I 'm not even sure who Bobby Hurley is to be honest. Um, working on anything new these days?

JT: I need to find Ernie a friendly primate.

Me: And who's on your i pod these days?

JT: Ray Charles...real good.

Me: Sweet. Well, I think we're going to have to wrap this up. Do you happen to have any questions for my readers?

JT: What dickbag invented the fitted bed-sheet? Trying to fold it = me getting pissed after about 20 seconds and just balling it up. F.

Me: I will be sure to ask them. Thanks for the interview and enjoy your new place!

I'll be presenting Molly's Facebook Celebrities all week.

Make sure to check in daily. Who knows...the next celebrity might be you!