Dear Ms. Fey,
Whoa whoa whoa! This is in reference to your letter and multiple e-mails to me.
I would like to start by saying that I am, yes, very impressed by your work. I find you hilarious and yes, if you insist, a role model. 30 Rock is one of my favorite shows of all time and your Sarah Palin is one for the books.
My deification of Nia Vardalos and Kristen Wiig was a sort of personal mantra and not in any way meant to exclude you from my list of favorite comedians. I was, in fact, going to write a third prayer this evening and address it to you. With this most recent certified letter, I thought it best to address you directly.
Your lawyers have asked me to say the following:
I have been a royal asshole. My closest friends know that I love Tina Fey and even dressed as Elizabeth "Liz" Lemon for Halloween. Not only a leader in comedic writing, acting, and producing, Tina Fey serves as an exemplary autobiographer, mother and cover model. When referencing women in comedy, the first name uttered should be Tina Fey. Only then can names like Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin and Andrea Martin be mentioned. I would like to personally apologize to Ms. Fey, her family, my family and my church (lady). I am deeply sorry for my actions.
There. I hope that's good enough for you. I really was going to write that prayer to you this evening. Also, will you call Pohler off? She's been throwing bricks at my window all night. They just keep hitting the ac unit, but still, they're loud. Thanks.
All the best,