My good friend, Meredith, just had a baby boy. Welcome, Finnbar!!! I can't wait to go meet him tomorrow, but first, Meredith wants me to read and sign the list below.
Molly's Baby No-Nos: Things I (Molly) will not do with the newborn.
1. I will not take the baby on a roller coaster.
2. I will not take weird, weird pictures of the baby for a blog.
3. I will not attempt to feed the baby unless Meredith AND a nurse are present.
4. I will not paint the baby.
5. I will not wear the baby like a stole.
6. I will not make the baby reenact part nor all of Look Who's Talking. (No Bruce Willis impersonations will be done around the baby.)
7. I will not call the baby "Apple".
8. When I see a piano, I will refrain from saying; "Piano, meet baby. Baby, Grand piano."
9. I will not teach the baby, The Secret.
10. Under no circumstances am I to cover the baby in peanut butter, take the baby for a walk, and try to pick up every guy whose dog runs up and starts licking the baby.
I mean, I want to meet the little guy, so I think I'm going to sign. I'll just cross my fingers while I do it. Oh man- I've got to add that to the list of things to teach this little dude. Finnbar, this is going to be rad, man.