Friday, July 29, 2011

...a Tour Book

A New Yorker's Guide to Being in New York

Chapter 6: Times Square
Introduction: Welcome to Times Square! This iconic area used to be filled with peep shows and porn stores but now is an electric shopping mall. I get to walk through this area every day on my way to work.

Shopping: You'll recognize all the stores here, you have them at home. No seriously, every single store here is a chain that you have in your hometown mall. So, ok you can spend your vacation shopping. That's a choice. Just make sure when you're coming out of the store you get out of my way. Don't stand like an idiot thinking about the things you just bought. People are walking. It's an extremely busy sidewalk.

Theatre: Midtown is also home to Broadway. Insider tip! Discount theatre tickets are available at the red TKTS booth. Decide if you want to be in line. Then get in line or keep walking. Just get out of the way of those trying to get to work.

Street vendors: There are street vendors, charicaturists and other artists all over Times Square. If you need to buy more crap have at it. Just don't hem and haw and stand in my way. Seriously, do you see this is a sidewalk? Move!

Food: There are tons of restaurant choices in Times Square whether you buy a hot dog from a guy on the street or blow $50 at Olive Garden just stay away Green Symphony on 43rd and Kodama on 8th and 46th.

New York City Police: Police officers are stationed all over Times Square. Whether on foot or on horseback, you're going to want to get a picture with these guys. Sure. Fine. Have at it. Just get out of my way!

Safety: Times Square is antiseptically safe, and I am normally a very calm person, if you don't get out of my way I might push you into oncoming traffic.

I hope the tips above help you enjoy Times Square. Mostly I need you to get out of my way. Now.

No comments:

Post a Comment