Tuesday, August 16, 2011

...Interviewing JH

Molly's Facebook Celebrities!
Interviews with my friends and family (with answers pulled from Facebook)
Tuesday, Aug 16th  Jonathan "Jon" Heffley

Me: Jon, thanks for granting me this interview. I know you're really busy these days.

JH: August is going to be one cluster fuck of a mess.

Me: Wow. What kind of stuff do you have going on?

JH: I am sooo psyched about this stunt class. :-)

Me: A stunt class, that sounds dangerous.

JH: This was called a suicide fall where you jump off and kick your feet out. This was from 3 stories above the air mat... "Falling!"

Me: Oh, please get down off that table. I really don't think you should do that in a restaurant.

JH: Feeling antisocial.

Me: Ok...um you said you had a lot going on this August. What else?

JH: My mustache hair is starting to curl up into my nostrils. I'll keep you all updated.

Me: Ok.

JH: Hiccuping incessantly.

Me: Huh...

JH: I saw a huge cockroach carrying a rat on his back into a hospital. I could learn a lot from him!

Me: Those things could keep you busy...I guess.

JH: My MacBook Air is here! I'm going to look sooo productive!! AND PRETENTIOUS!!

Me: You love computers. You actually work with computers, right?

JH: Ethical Hacking Bootcamp begins today!

Me: Ethical Hacking Bootcamp...is that through work?

JH: "home"

Me: Ok....you know I think we'll leave that...just in case the FBI is reading.

JH: Why did TSA take my toothpaste away?

Me: Right, you just went to Ohio. Maybe they heard about your hacking class?

JH: Do you think I'm white?

Me: Um yes?

JH: Excuse me. Do you think I LOOK white?

Me: I do... Oh, is that what you said when they took your toothpaste away??? I think they just do that to everyone. They took my 92 year old Grandma's toothpaste when she flew to Virginia.

JH: What the Fuck Dept.?

Me: Yeah, file it under WTF! Why would they ever think someone could cause damage with toothpaste?

JH: There is a yelling in my head.

Me: That might be why. Well, Jon, we're going to have to wrap this up.

JH: "'Men will always think rationally and act irrationally.' Someone tell people I said that smart thing when I'm dead!!!"

Me: We will, but that'll be a long time from now, Jon, right?

JH: Thanks, God. For everything.

Me: I think you've gone to a dark place, Jon. What's something that makes you happy?
JH: I would like to have bubblegum ice cream. (Yes, it exists.)

Me: Great. My treat!

Thanks again for reading Molly's Facebook Celebrities!
Check back tomorrow for another interview. Who knows...the next celebrity might be you!

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